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The ABC’s of being a POS: Intro
(Edited 08/09/2024)
Note: This upcoming series is for entertainment and educational purposes only. If you wish to learn more about mental health, abusive behaviors, and support, please talk to your primary physician’s office, or a licensed professional.
For emergencies, please call 911, or call 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Life is full of a healthy balance of people that deserve hugs or suplexes.
Sometimes both.
There’s a long list of examples of these people in both the past and present, public or private figures, and all types of relationships.
No matter what, the world has its shares of people that deserve attention as much as the others need to be starved from it.
This is dedicated to the second half.
By now you’ve assumed that the POS in the title does NOT mean “point of sale.” It means the other thing.
The one that made you think of a person or people who could understand physical actions more than a sentence about their behavior.
And even though one word or phrase will sometimes be used for each letter, they are not limited to them.
Consider each one a gateway into others that, like the ones chosen here, are tied to each other, and will be mentioned and even repeated within most of them.
So, if you or someone you know is a POS, and you’re looking for how to increase your villain potential, you’ve come to the wrong place.
After all, what better way to talk about the tricks and tips in ways that match your actions towards your targets/marks?
No matter what, remember this quote as this journey begins:
“If it hurts you, it’s about you.”
-Kingston Priest
P.S. – It is understood that there are those with undiagnosed or misdiagnosed mental conditions which will have similar behaviors mentioned here. This is in no way meant to offend them, or their related parties. This project is dedicated to those who choose to behave certain ways that deserve to be spoken about.
First: Animosity
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The Spot: Perspective of a Black Person in White Spaces (Part 2 of 4)
Here are few examples that I’ve lived through.
There was a side topic I overheard at a party regarding spotted lantern flies destroying crops in most of New Jersey, one season, and how there were full rallies about culling them to save the crops. During the talk, one of the men of the group shouted in jest that “flies lives matter,” which rang uncomfortable echoes of “Black Lives Matter.”
Another involved a live group chat, where the white host had expressed his disgust about people’s opinion towards a tiktok duet that he made with me, using the word “woke” in the way that has been turned it into a diet version of black slurs. The live feed was interrupted before anything could be said about it.
There was another time prior to both of those examples, through with a different group, where another white male stated the following. “Rock music: invented by blacks, perfect by whites.” It got a huge round of applause and laughter from everyone but me, the Spot, who risked a lot expressing anger that will be brought up later.
While there are plenty more examples I can draw from, for now, let’s look at the outsider’s view of the Spot.
To most black folk that view them from the outside, there can be immediate judgement that they are the “Oreo,” a sell-out, or worse, the “coon” of the group.
But that judgement can also be made from the whites within said group. Statements like “you’re the whitest black person I know” can come with a condescending tone and laughter from one side, while another can state that with sheer disgust and betrayal.
Either side will have its reasons to say it to their intended target. The Spot can be talked down for listening to one rock song by a white artist, and the “court of public opinion” may not acknowledge the black roots of the genre. Or hopefully do so without mirroring the example I spoke of earlier.
Spot can have romantic interests outside their race, specifically white, and the same court of public opinion refuses to see how love can and has existed throughout all races. They can exist without a hint of exotification, and without the threat of adding to historic tragedies related to mixed race events, be they romantic, platonic, etc.
Personal experiences tied to that last part have varied. One former connection would often parade his black wife’s presence online by stating that she was black, as if it was needed for those with eyes.
Another had a time where he saw a black woman grocery shopping at his old job and finally saw any of them as being only worth sleeping with, despite the closet racism within most of his own family, and allegedly in himself. He then had the nerve to ask me if I could ask my then-black girlfriend if she could hook him up with one of her friends. In short, it didn’t happen.
Link to Part 1
Next: Part 3 -
The Spot: Perspective of a Black Person in White Spaces (Part 1 of 4)
The following series is for entertainment and educational purposes, only.
You can learn a lot from being the “spot in a cup of milk.”
While I have a vague idea who first told me that phrase, I was quick enough to know what it meant in the context it was given in.
Being the spot in a cup of milk referred to being the sole black person in a group of white people.
It is something that I have had a long history of being. Rarely will there be a group that doesn’t reveal any red flags about it. But I’ve seen enough to speak on what will not be every black or PGM’s experience but know there’s enough of us that can relate and won’t get into those situations ever again, if it can be helped.
On the flip side, there will be white folk that will read or eventually listen to this that may feel exposed and defensive, with a “my best friend/partner/family member is black” statement loaded in the chamber.
Some who personally know me will even come out with the “how dare you” or “after all we’ve been through” lines, especially halfway through this.
All I can say to them is…proceed. This won’t be as gloves-on or colorful as my last mini-series was, but plenty of that is aligned with what will be talked about, here.
With all of that out the way, here’s what can be said about the Spot, both in my experience, and in observation.
If they are not careful, the Spot will miss the micro and passive aggression about their race, and even their physical appearance tied to it, while within these circles. Comments about playing specific types of sports, assumptions that you have a criminal record, sexual activity, and more.
Their intelligence will be undermined or brought into question, usually in a causal way to make them think that this is a friendly discussion, versus a show of authority and even superiority. It doesn’t matter what the topic is. The “great white shark” of the group will circle its prey before they know when to take a bite out their dark meat.
The Spot can chime into a conversation and be welcomed into it, so long as they don’t bring up any black perspectives surrounding it. Like before, the topic doesn’t matter. It can be something fun, geeky, or universally beloved with all races, there can or will be the risk of triggering discomfort from their white counterparts if you even hint a black connection to the topic.
And those white spaces may allow “a black” into their mix, so long as they aren’t called out on any statements that can imply comfort in bigotry and racism.
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Link to Part 2, premiering tomorrow. -
A Lover’s Quarrel: The Importance of Self-Love Before Romantic Love
You can learn a lot about love in a very short amount of time.
At times, it can be because you haven’t healed a part of you that thinks you have to find and hold onto it just so you can be somebody to others. To feel like you are somebody to yourself because someone is at your side.
That’s when you get reminders, or even revelations of how you were acting in the pursuit of even short-term passion. How you kept submitting to emotionally distant people that, if you’re lucky, will breadcrumb you into thinking you have a chance to even hold hands.
And like most painful patterns, the concept of love starts at home.
A few are lucky enough to grow up in an environment where they teach the importance of prioritizing self-love, self-acceptance, and building high self-esteem. It can hopefully attract like-minded connections that could be, or be connected to, the life partner that you’ve been manifesting about in silence.
For others, it takes a while. Decades, even. Heartbreaks received and even delivered all towards a key point where they learn what it really takes to have a healthy romance.
It first starts with having a solid relationship with yourself. Mostly by forming, reforming, and respecting your boundaries that filter out what no longer serves you, and draws in what does without connecting with others out of desperation.
And it doesn’t have to be a perfect relationship with yourself. Healing is nonlinear, so there will be days that you don’t have the energy for it. You just have to stay consistent with your own emotional terms and conditions that can prevent the old desires from taking hold again.
Because you can’t expect a love interest or a full partner to respect you if you don’t respect yourself. And even then, you have to make sure you don’t risk crossing the lines of narcissism, sociopathy, and more.
The heart, both in spirit and metaphor, is a powerful, fragile, and dangerous thing to handle in ourselves.
It’s why there are those who refuse to give out their hearts ever again, for their own reasons. While others are justified in being more selective in who they give their hearts to, especially those seeking long-term commitments.
And for those that do, or want to find that life partner, class will always be in session. Because you will learn a lot about love in a short and long amount of time.
What you do with those lessons will determine if you’re meant to retake the class like I had to, recently, or be in a place to be both the student and the teacher, like I’m aiming to be, again.
Kingston Priest
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Power to the People: A Black Man’s Rant.
While I have been away, I knew that I would have some things to say during Black History Month.
Turns out I have a LOT.
It’s one thing for me to ask if my peoples are good without them knowing that I am also black. It’s another thing to assume that any black folk reading this aren’t the ones being dismissive or celebrating the cruelty and bigotry that they think they are immune to.
But I do love the strength of accountability being thrown at anyone of color betraying their race, their lineage. It’s nothing new, but thankfully it is more recordable than ever.
The rest of us on the right side of history? We are doing what we can to stay informed and sane at the same time. Making sure we don’t have full faith in the mainstream media, while giving independent news sources more attention, but the same if not harder level of scrutiny.
That’s not just for us to do. That’s for everyone of every race and nationality that still has a heart for those outside of, or alternative to our lifestyles, our employment status, and especially outside of our choice of faith, if any.
And I will not be shy about the rage I have been feeling on and off since last year up until now. I have thought and implied things that would have me questioned, or even “disappeared.”
I’m not alone. Because you can only speak to anyone’s sympathy for so long before you feel other methods deserve to be explored, if not wished for.
We are entitled to that level of rage. We are allowed to feel it until we decide how to express it. Centuries of the body keeping score, genetically passed down to have the trauma repeated in the home, long enough that it becomes family doctrine that no one is allowed to break.
We are entitled to purge that trauma from our blood, our spirit, our communities of choice. But there is a fine line between feeding those in hiding, and being starved for a banana clip to empty onto the reasons they hide.
And that’s what they have wanted from the beginning. For black bodies to repeat the energy of Summer of 2020. To be treated the way our ancestors, relatives, even elder friends were, back when they also said “no more.”
But we know better. We don’t forget, ignore, or erase history.
Not all of us are designed to retain all of it, but we know enough to stand strong. To believe that joy, art, and love, is still resistance. To believe that justice can be as slow or as swift as its opponents demand it to be. To believe that this will not end with us in flames, again, but in favor for all who stand with us.
We, the people, have come too far to lose ourselves to this outright evil. Not when they know what power we hold. And especially with us knowing how deeply they fear our power.
Let’s keep showing them our power.
-Kingston Priest
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Year-End Semi-Review
Of all the things I can still speak on that left me bitter, disappointed, and even heartbroken, this year was not without its joys.
For every promising or deep connection lost, new ones came through that reminded me better opportunities are ahead.
For every declaration of ignorance against human rights, there were those ready to defend and expose those who chose hypocrisy.
For every attempt to speak outside my name or character, there were careful and bold defenses made to state I was the wrong one.
For every planned trip that lost its passion, the ones achieved still bring smiles at the memories tied to them.
And, vague as this appears, this is just a short list of the good that came out the bad. Sure, it’s likely no different from any other year. But I know how much of these helped clear out even more trauma bonds that I thought were either gone or arguably managed better.
I know the weight of each of the things that needed clearing. Some of which I’ll describe better once I find the right words for it. But the self-validation combined with encouragement from others is proof that I’m being rewarded for staying on the right path.
I can admit, and will advise that it’s not easy. Even after everything I’ve grown through, some things can cause triggers tied to things that require more emotional care and grace.
And despite the threats of turbulence, the growing can be fun and educational all at once. All we need to do is develop, and even remember those glimmers that bring us back to say how proud we should be of ourselves.
Not just for choosing ourselves over any selfish demands, but to making it this far in a world that has given many others reasons to consider, or succeed in leaving it before the blessings arrive.
So here’s to more hope and glimmers. More laughs and happy tears. More achievements and celebrations. More victories and reparations.
Most of all, more of us giving loved ones proof of life. Especially the loved one in the mirror.
Kingston Priest
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Vaya con dios
(Content: Death of a loved one)
Last month, a longtime friend of our family was called home.
It feels like it’s too personal of a thing to talk about on here, but when has that stopped me before?
But a personal loss is something I haven’t spoken about on here. In a way, I figured it was as inevitable as death is. And as grim or insensitive as that sounds, I’ll consider this post a way to process my feelings about our loss a bit more.
This friend wore many hats through many generations that were related to her, or knew her close enough to be extended family. Even as I write this, I remember how vast of a turnout there was, and how it even dissolved tension between a few I was aware of.
That last part is something I have been familiar with in other friends who have passed, where there was a call to let go of old criticisms and disagreements. In one case, it was for the person who passed.
Here, it was not. She had no enemies. And if she did, keep us away from them, and them from us.
Of all the memories I have with her, the heaviest one will be the last time we met. Before that, it was often in the name of assisting others if not herself. Sometimes there was frustration shared between us, but it would be resolved fast.
Not just because I had to check my anxiety, and maybe even my warped ego at times, but also understand that we were of different worlds that inspired a brief back-and-forth when they happened, and even why.
But it’s the laughter, the serenity, the genuine and mutual well-wishes that overshadow all of that.
Not everyone who passes may have that luxury from those who survive them, and that’s expected based on how someone may have lived. She lived a life that nearly filled most spaces that honored her on the day we gathered.
And it wasn’t just to say goodbye. It was to say “thank you.”
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Aria of Sorrow: Thoughts on Limerence
Limerence is a word I have become familiar with, lately.
It’s a state of mind that involves having intense feelings for a person that may otherwise be avoiding or selective with returned affection. From that, it can even be associated with the more popular term, infatuation.
It’s a creature of chaos. It can take many different shapes partly because of who the object of affection is. The feelings for them can also vary in length, from weeks to years.
It all depends on the person and how or when they realize that they can see beyond this spell.
Limerence is not without its ties to experiences of avoidant people in one’s past, because I have seen it being relative to trauma bonding, too.
And it’s hard to break out of when even subtle words of returned affection can feel like an overdue warm hug. Comfort like that makes it easier to ignore that their actions and words may be as empty as their soul.
No matter what it is labeled, you are better for breaking free of it when it is realized.
The healthy options of moving through it are yours to choose. Therapy always matters, along with physical and emotional habit changes tied to that unhealthy love interest.
The most important thing to remember is to not hurt yourself over waking up even years later to this attachment style. Sometimes, that’s what it takes to help look back and see what no longer suits your present and future.
Perhaps the same can be said of all traumas.
– Kingston Priest
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We Gon’ Make It: Evidence of Hope
I get it. It’s a lot.
It has been for months, now.
24-Hour news cycles that are puppeted by submission or other means, and other trusted sources in different industries that also either complied in advance, or eventually bent the knee.
And the best part about all of that? It has pushed the people who still have their hearts intact. They learned that there are ways around the systems that has been brewing this kind of environment for decades.
Could that be the reason why nothing was ever truly perfect for any of us?
Could this have been prevented countless times before even 15 years ago to this day?
Did they really expect the world to follow suit and ignore history where these exact kind of moments existed?
At least the last question is easier to answer. And that’s even before thinking of the evidence behind that answer being “yes,” and proving them wrong.
Joy, courage, hope, and perseverance is still resistance.
From the youth who came together and rebuilt a nation through fire and order, to an entire country who shut down in protest as aid to others was threatened.
Rows of salt trucks, dance parties streaming in front of detainment centers, walkouts as criminals demand respect, worldwide “music festivals,” and even the turncoating of those that thought they wanted this, until they received more than what they voted for.
It’s a small sample of reasons why there is calm that it’s coming to an end for them.
Frustration of their actions still does exist, and it is allowed to.
Some of us are able to shut it down easier than others. Those many who are reminded of people close to them who resemble the ones in the High Castle.
But as long as you don’t let them feed off your despair, as long as you remember that you are building the life you have wanted for yourselves and others, that frustration is nothing compared to the rage they are feeling.
Because they know their time is over, and yours is just beginning.
“Straighten your back, and raise your head. Your enemies are watching.” – The K-2
Kingston Priest
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The Good Friend: A Word About Empathy
Originally written (9/11/2025)
I’d like to talk about a friend of mine named Empathy (they/them).
Empathy is immortal.
They have been in the hearts and minds of people throughout history. Without them being around, certain freedoms would not exist.
The freedom to choose, to marry who you want, the freedom to learn and educate ourselves and others about the horrors of our nation’s past.
Due to the changes within social and federal climates, Empathy has been working double shifts for the last few years. They work in every industry you can think of, while working the stresses of being unemployed and/or unhoused.
Within all of that, they’ve also been the target of people who refuse to acknowledge Empathy’s existence.
Not just in general, but in themselves. Claims of them being weak or a new age concept are felt and rightfully criticized by those who feel the opposite for our friend.
So when something bad happens to those that discredit Empathy’s importance, we, the friends of them, have options.
We can talk about or show receipts of them dismissing Empathy’s right to live, the same way their enemies have done about us.
We can declare how their enemies meant so little to us that we’re indifferent about the inevitable, even karmic events that those people face.
Some of us will take any of those announcements to the extreme. And that’s okay.
Because we live in a world that was built to make people believe they’ve won in life by cutting Empathy off. While the rest of us feel differently, and are proof that Empathy will always have a plate at every function they show up at.
So be nice to our friend. Your friend, even.
They will survive after us, but we can take comfort knowing that our declaration of their existence will be alongside them.
– Kingston Priest
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Changing Lanes: Knowing Where You Belong and Staying There
Anyone who wants to keep you in the left lane because they see your fastlane potential knows they’ll be left behind once you switch it up.
The longer you act on the beliefs that you deserve a better life because of your healing, the harder those who do not share your beliefs will come for you.
They will do and say anything to keep you close and in control. They’ll demand you “stay in your lane,” not only when you make them uncomfortable, but stop you from conspiring with your future self who has long since left them in the dust.
That’s your reoccurring cue that you are doing the right things, and better people and places will replace them.
Deep inside, they know that. Even if and when some will move on and act like your absence doesn’t affect them, some will remind you in their ways that it does.
That’s their fault and their fight for funbling you. They will hate you because you did the right thing for YOU, not for them.
So as you break the speed limit in your overall growth, remind yourself to slow down only when you need to, and not in hopes that they catch up to apologize and celebrate your wins.
You never needed them to gas you up. Besides, the chances of backhanded statements in them will be like water in gasoline, and we know how that treats actual vehicles.
Don’t let them do that to you.
Race on.
Kingston Priest
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